To The Abuser: You Know Who You Are
76Awareness for Domestic Violence :Purple Ribbon
ABUSER:
Think AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!
What are you teaching your children?
Tell me, Abuser...
"Tell me, Abuser, what do you get out of being an Abuser? Satisfaction? Control? Dominance? Do you feel like a king when you look down and see her bleeding on the floor? Does it make you feel superior to see her crying, holding herself like an infant, in the fetal position at your feet, while you grin and spit on her, and tell her how worthless she is, by not saying one word? You like this? ...You are sick. You know that, right? ... Did you know that your children were watching you through the crack in the closet door? (The crack you put there by putting your fist to it!)... Tell me Abuser, how do you feel now? Now that your sitting behind bars, and can't even attend your own family's funeral, because your the one who put them there? Are you so superior now? ...Tell me ABUSER, what are your thoughts and memories of your wife and children? You despise them? WHY? Because you are WEAK? So weak that you must lash out in the moment of anger, at the mere thought of belittlement? The thought that you may be over-powered, or out-smarted? And act as if you are their keeper? Sit there Abuser. Sit there and rot. Sit there and drown in your sorrows, make apologies that just don't matter anymore, and beg for forgiveness, because you won't get it. Abusers (like you) deserve what they get. Murderers, rapists, child abusers...your all the same...Sick in the head. And you don't deserve pity. You ARE pity. You ARE belittlement and weakness. You ARE a sickness that needs to be extinct... I know of a couple islands that are useless. Lets put you all on one of them and blow you up because you are wasting our energies. You use air that somebody worth while could be breathing... Just seeing the pictures, and reading the headlines brings tears to my eyes, and anger in my heart. How could you? Who gave you the right to take an other's life? Who told you you were a god? Get a grip Abuser, reality should start to kick in any time now, and your going to feel the pain that you put them through... Your going to feel the fear, and walk in their shoes before you die. Hold your head boy, it isn't going to help. Shake all you want. Yell and scream, and throw your fists... Your done, like dinner. Who's grinning now, boy? If there is a devil, your in his hands now, BOY! Ha ha ha. Thinking twice now, aren't you? Aww, too bad for you. Sorry about your luck. Maybe in your next life you will repent, and be a decent human being, but here, now, you aren't worth the sweat off a bullfrogs balls. You are lower than dirt... And nobody feels sorry for you. Everyone will gather around to watch death take you away like a banshee in the night. Your screams will be heard for miles, and people will stop, and smile, as one more ABUSER is escorted from earth... One less freak to have to worry about. I hope my children will never see the likes of an infection like you. You are a bad seed. A mold that should be broke. An infection that needs to be wiped out. A disease. A sickness. A waste. Just another scumbag that we must lock away so we all can pay for your meals while you rot in jail. You should be thrown in a cage with a rabid dog, to be torn to pieces, but not quickly... Slowly tortured, taking one limb at a time... drip some "burning, melting" solution on you while you lay there and suffer immense pain... How does that sound, Abuser? Is this what you did? Sat around planning what you would do to your wife and kids? I'm sure they had no clue... I'm sure their innocent eyes danced with laughter at one time, unaware of their fate soon to come. Well guess what Abuser, your beautiful wife and innocent children are in a place where you can never harm them again... They are safe from you and your little tantrum fits. Far away from your weakness, and in a place where your sickness can never reach them. If you would've thought first, you could have committed suicide, and left them to be enjoyed by their family... Their real family... without you, their lives may have went on and on. The children could have been educated, your wife could have been happy, and lived to be a grandmother to those children's children... One survivor- a young boy... hospitalized, and now traumatized by watching his mom and siblings be murdered in cold blood right in front of his eyes. You sick, heartless piece of...work. The boy's grandfather will be at his side... The boy is all he has left of his daughter... Thanks to you, Abuser... How high are you now? Your the worthless one, aren't you? Your the guilty one. The sick one. Remember? You can't take this one back. It's over with... Just like you soon enough. Have fun Abuser, your on your way to a fun park you'll never be able to leave, and your on the receiving end now scumbag... Enjoy."
Please read on...
- Domestic Violence paper I wrote
Re: ATTITUDE PAPER; “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” Attitude paper ... - In the eyes of a survivor of domestic violence
It has been 15 years since i left my abuser. I actually had to sit and think about that, and i know why. Because every day is another challenge to get passed what he did to me. The wounds are still there even... - UNDERSTANDING THE ROLES CHILDREN MAY PLAY WHEN LIVIN...
In all families, members may adopt (or are assigned) certain “roles” that they unconsciously play out while interacting with others in their family. Frequently, the early role (or roles) played by a child... - The A-Z of Domestic Violence Prevention
WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? Domestic violence can be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual and is used to gain power and control over someone in the relationship. Abusers use many different avenues to gain... - Understanding Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is an unseen and silent killer of thousands of women each year. Here is a look at what domestic violence is, what causes it, and how victims can get help. - Domestic Violence: NOT a "Woman's Problem"
So the violence enacted against Rihanna allegedly (not that I personally doubt the event's occurence) by Chris Brown has been splashed all over the internet, news outlets, and popular media at-large. While... - Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence affects millions of families world wide, rarely a day passes without reading of a violent attack in the newspapers or hearing on television or radio about domestic violence incident that went... - Romance Novel, “Two Loves, One Heart,” Explores ...
Domestic violence is an all-to-common occurrence in today's society, and wreaks havoc on the emotional and physical wellbeing of its victims. Domestic violence is not a disagreement, an anger management... - CHILDREN - THE HIDDEN VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
CHILDREN AND TEENS EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE At least 3 million children in the United States live in abusive households. Children as young as 2 years old will emulate violent behaviors, and may come to... - Domestic Violence
There is so much that you really should know about domestic violence... besides the fact that it is a serious, widespread social problem in America today. Here are some other facts: At least 50% of the...
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Utterly fantastic. I could see myself standing over my abuser and screaming this at him. I got out too but it took way to long. This hub was a tremendous spin on this issue.
Yeah, well sometimes I just can't help myself... My thoughts become "out-loud" when my heart is touched like this...
great article shannon, you did a great job with this...it is a very personal message, well put!
MissJamie... You MUST think of yourself and your children first... Not only is it teaching your children to live with abuse, it is telling them, "If mom can do it, then so can I..." I will email you, Jamie. This is far too personal to put in public right yet...
This is wonderful:) Thanks so much for sharing! I've been in an abusive marriage for 12 years and even though I love my kids more than life itself, my lack of self-confidence keeps me tied to him. I'm too scared to leave and be on my own. I suffer with a social phobia, PTSD, ADD, and several anxiety disorders. It's difficult for me to work and a person can't raise three kids with no job. It's horrible. My kids don't want us to be together but I'm scared of what my husband will do. We're actually legally separated right now, but he won't physically leave my home. Sorry for bleeding on you like that. I appreciate your care for victims:)
Hugs,
Jamie
Sounds like a plan, Benji! And I agree with your "Chris Brown" comment... It just goes to show that abuse isn't as "hidden" anymore now that women are learning to speak out about it. I feel bad for Rhianna, her face has to be plastered all over the world now. But maybe it, also, will help the abused reach out to get help.
Wow. This is awesome. "Your done, like dinner." I love it! You and I need to partner up :) You go out and find these people, I'll strap em to a chair and flip the switch, haha. Thanks for being willing to share the raw emotion. I agree 100%. There's no excuse to being an abuser. The only thing that sucks is that abuse is cyclical. Sometimes those who are abused go out and abuse others. That's horrible because you can't help but feel for them, even though they're acting like schmos. But you can't let that be an excuse for continued abuse. Like Chris Brown. That guy should be chopped up slowly into little bits and pieces.
Maybe it will bring more awareness to the situation... Who knows? But at least whoever reads this will understand how I think of the situation...
Thanks for the comment!
such pain and saddness. thanks for speaking for those without words to speak out against domestic violence. Great hub.
Thanks for your thoughts on this maven.
I actually had tears flowing freely as I wrote this hub. I wrote it immediatly following reading the news about the guy in Ohio. I didn't even proof read it... all I did was check my spelling and publish it...
My heart goes out to the people who don't understand how easy it is to take control of their lives... It is so easy. I did it. It may not have been easy at the time, but thinking back on it, it only took one single thought inside my head to rid the situation. It just took way too long... More women need to be educated, and more people need to be at their sides for support and understanding rather than pity...
I still like the "island idea" I had...
Shannon....Thank you for this powerful and much needed Hub...I cannot express my utter disgust for creatures such as these...most men feel as I do, and, given the chance, would gladly rip their heads off and p..s down their neck...
It seems we are hearing about this more and more recently...are we seeing the fruits of the " Me Generation.." ??
My work with recovering adolescent substance abusers has revealed that every single one of these kids come from an abusive family... mental, sexual, or physical.
Abusive behavior affects all of us. Dunn's " For Whom the Bell Tolls " reminds us it tolls for us all. And such a toll.....
Thank you very much Proud Mom. You just made me smile with your ending.
I am a firm believer in educating girls (children, men) about how to take control of their own lives. It took me a long time, but I learned the hard way, and I didn't have to... And neither does anyone else, for that fact... But so many people don't understand what "control" really is, until they are forced into a situation that they really don't want to be in... It takes a lot of energy to live a stressful life. Some people stay because of the whole "family" thing... (I have to stay- he's my child's father...) Well, no... that is the main reason to LEAVE... If your child sees abuse on a regular basis, then it is likely that the child will also, be either an "abuser" or one who lives with abuse.
It's just so sad to see a person have to go through this sort of thing, just because of fear. There is no reason for fear once they learn that they hold their own destiny in their own hands... No one has to deal with abuse, and everyone should know it...
One of the reasons for staying that I hear frequently is that the abuser has crushed their self-esteem and self-worth to the point that they think this is as good as it's going to get. I hate that for them.
Don't be afraid to admit what you've been through. You are a strong person who came out the other end of this nightmare, and more people need to see how you were successful at it. Be a role-model, a spokesperson, a poster-child--whatever it's called these days.
And YES!! Everyone needs to stick their nose in where abuse is involved!! Don't ever assume someone else will take care of it! I got in trouble at work recently because I didn't take "Don't worry about it" from the school personnel I reported child abuse to.
You are an amazing person, Mamadragonfly. I admire you very much.
As much as I hate to admit it, I was in an abusive relationship before. (More than once) and the more I hear of how "common" domestic violence is, and how I hear that girls just stay because either they have no job, no money, nowhere to go, they are scared to leave, (etc...etc...) it just makes me sad inside knowing that those girls think that they have nowhere to turn for help. Help is always there, you just need to seek it out.
Children are scarred for life when they see just ONE domestic violence incident... The image stays in their minds forever. If the abuse continues, the child gets depressed, starts using drugs, rebells, etc...etc... Who would want a future like that for their child? Orginizations need to spread the word, (so-to-speak) more publicly, and more often so girls get the point that they CAN take control of their lives and flee from abuse easier than they think. And if they don't already know, they need to understand what sort of imprint it puts on their child... At an early age, a childs memory is like a digital camera. VIVID... They tend to remember things that impact them the most, usually negitive happenings...
And as far as children and girls) losing their lives because of some sick-minded freak, it is just uncalled for. There should be more protection... If not from the police, at least from family members. More wemen need to be better educated, to better protect themselves and their children from situations like this. And BY ALL MEANS, if your child, friend, sibling, or WHOEVER you know is being abused, DON'T be afraid to stick your nose in, and try to do something before it's too late... especially if nothing is getting done about it. SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE!!!
Froggy- I will always stand my ground when it comes to situations like yours. My heart aches for you, and believe me when I say I wish I could end your pain. One of these days, you will have your sense of satisfaction, and you will understand that (he) will get his own when the time is right. I truly believe you will come to peace soon... Stick with your word, and talk to someone about it. Someone who will LISTEN, and not speak until you are done... Someone who not only listens, but HEARS you. Feel free to contact me anytime.
Thanks everyone, for all the comments. Keep em' coming! I could go on and on...!
This is such an excellent letter! Everyone who has been abused should sit down and write one just like it!
Domestic violence is senseless, isn't it? And too many times, the person who was abused, for any number of reasons, doesn't follow through with charges. It would be very difficult for a police officer who sees this day in and day out to not become somewhat numb. It's just so sad!!
It's bad enough for the adults, but the kids involved just tears my heart out. Looking through the crack in the door. I just can't believe what a child has to FEEL sitting in that closet peeking out. I hate the feeling thinking about this brings, but I NEVER want to become numb to it!
During our training, we had to listen to a 911 call where a small child was calling for help for her mother who was being beaten by her father. There were at least 3 other kids present, and the one on the phone was only 6. It was very obvious this wasn't her first phone call. And she immediately became the caretaker of the younger children--including a newborn infant!! I had to get up and walk out for a few minutes because I just couldn't take it!!
You're doing a great thing by publishing this hub. Keep it up!!!
You keep up the good work--If we keep our voices heard we can stop all abuse. Thanks for a great hub!
Maybe this hub will make others like him think twice before "lashing out" in anger towards their OWN family... (Sick bastards.) I like the "island" idea myself... Or maybe put them all on an island and let them screw each other until every one of them have an STD and die in pain... LOTS of pain...
Obviously, I am very adoment about these kinds of "people" (if that's what you want to call them...) They turn my stomach, and the worst part, is I hear a new "story" on the news just about every day... Another sick F*** has acted upon one of his wildest dreams... Kill em' all... They are a DISEASE!!!
St. James- I was furious when I read the story in the news... Now I am furious that he didn't get tortured...
Thank you.
Yeah well I just heard this morning that the scumbag killed himself... He took the easy way out... Probobly because he knew he would be tortured in prison...
Too bad... I kinda looked forward to his torture...
Excellent Hub, very informative, Great job getting the point across, I can't believe what some people are capable of!
wow this is one of the best hubs I have read. Great work someone needs to put these ppl in their place and you sure did...You go girl...
Good hub Shannon. Thanks.
this is a magnificent piece of work Shannon.
MamaDragonfly2677 Hub Author 9 months ago
Thank you queenbe.
I wrote this hub because it angered me. I hear these stories all thetime, and if it were up to me, abusers would pay and pay and pay over and over again from one lifetime to the next...